Birth Order Factors Into Relationships

Are You Dating the Right Brother?

By RockTheFrolic

Birth Order Is a Factor in Relationships

Volumes are written about relationships between males and females and how we interact. Books, magazines, talk shows and short articles are boundless about this topic.  But sometimes I wonder if the information presented is by REAL people, or if the content covered is straight out of a psychology class. For starters, I can’t believe how often birth order is overlooked. Yes, birth order!  Firstborn? Only child? Middle child? Baby of the family?

  • Do you realize that of the first twenty-three astronauts in space, twenty-one were firstborns and the other two were the only child in their family?
  • Are you aware that many successful entrepreneurs are middle children?
  • Is it any surprise that most comedians are the youngest child in their family?

Birth order is not only applicable to careers but also to relationships and marriage.

Let’s take an example. A person may be a first born, an only child, or separated by a generation from other siblings, therefore shaping him to be an only child.  First borns and only children are typically dominant in relationships and better suited for marrying a middle child. Marrying a “baby” could make them fall into a parent/child relationship instead of husband/wife.

I am married to a  first born. I am the “baby” but separated by a generation to my siblings, and as a result, I have only child characteristics. So at times, we both try to dominate in the relationship. It works, but only because one of us knows when to back off and let the other take the lead. I admit, It’s usually me who backs off.  But there is value in backing off.  Backing off occasionally makes him think about everything and sometimes even reconsider.  Of course, it is still a work in process but it has improved over the years.  Never takes a lot of time, trial and error. But having a solid marriage is so worth it.

If you are interested in learning more about what the order you were born means, read Dr. Kevin Leman’s books. His insight is definitely something to consider in handling relationships. The idea is not to avoid marrying someone born in a particular order, but accepting who they are and learning how to better to understand them!

Let us know if you see birth order characteristics in yourself and your significant other. We’re interested.